I have lots to say, all of the time. I know not everyone wants to hear what I have to say though so I am going to start saying it within the confines of a link that can be followed by those who would like to read it or ignored by those who would not. Simple! Although I'm sure there will still be those who choose to give me shit....
I have made a lot of changes in the last couple of years. Despite what some people who are suppose to know me believe, I have an intense loathing of negativity. That being said I am NOT afraid to stand up for someone or stand up for my right to be happy and live in a calm environment. Don't get these two statements confused. I do not want negativity in my life, but I will flip my shit on someone who consistently creates it. Period. Sue me.
The word drama gets tossed around as a negative thing. We think of screaming, fighting, cussing, throwing stuff, cops, and all things loud, scary and unpredictable when we think of the word drama. In my life drama is everything. Everywhere. My nine year old who cannot seem to get along with anyone. My two year old who is trying to squeeze the cat's face off. My four year old who sees the dirty ruffles on her new dress as a life altering experience. My seven year old when his pacemaker reading comes back stable. When I come out of the room hootin and hollerin about my new weight goal of 160 pounds being mastered, drama. I can't sit here and say I don't like drama, because that is every bit of what my life is and I'll never get away from it. 29 years of trying has made me a firm believer that steering clear of drama is false hope in my world. I am learning to pick and choose what drama I will allow, though. Right now I am weeding out the people who open their mouth just to bring others around them down. I am weeding out the people who have conditions with their loyalties. I can handle a lot of different traits in people, but I am learning that I cannot handle mean.
Nobody wakes up when they're five years old and decides misery sounds like a good life goal. I hope to eventually cover the different topics I think lead to misery for people from all walks of life. I don't expect to always be so serious. I may decide to rant about the inner workings of the four year old mind. I may decide to complain about how fast my organic bread goes bad. I may be super serious and complain about the people in life who wake up every day with the intent of treating those around them like shit while wearing a big, fake, stupid smile on their face. You're never really going to know what is going to happen when you read these things... and feel free to offer suggestions and fire me up!
I'll definitely talk a lot about my fitness thing I'm doing right now. If you don't want to hear about weight loss goals, and all of my gloating, then don't read this blog.
I won't be sorry for what I write, or how I feel because I write based off of 83.2 percent experience. If I have strong feelings for something I have not experienced, then I am always up for debate. I love an attempt to persuade me using facts without telling me to think their way or I'm stupid. It is exciting and proves that I am dealing with people who have a strong mind. If you attempt to persuade me by telling me I am stupid otherwise, I'll probably tell you to find a short cliff and take a long jump.
I'll lay out my basic beliefs to lessen shock factors in future posts, especially my more emotional ones.
I hold no value in the traditional definitions of marriage or family. I believe half of the rules we put on ourselves and our kids are a crock and have just been carried thru one generation after another out of the "right thing to do" belief.
Saying you're married isn't going to make your married life magical. It isn't going to make your partner be magically in love with you and treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
There a lot of restrictions on a human being as a child and an adult I feel are more damaging than productive. This is a new lesson I am learning myself. I am still teaching myself how NOT to be so anal. Respect is about the only rule I'll go hard on. Boot camp style, live with respect or die. No negotiations. Respect does a lot for the happiness within yourself and the people around you.
Having relatives doesn't give you a family. There isn't a magical sense of unconditional loyalty here. Marriage and family are created by how you treat the people you are involved with in these sorts of relationships. I'd take a bullet for my best friend of fifteen years before I would my mom. Cold? Yes. My best friend has done more for me than my mom could ever dream to. Yeah, yeah... she gave me life. She gave me a heartbeat. She allowed me to come into the world. From that point on she had no idea what she was doing and the difference in her and a lot of other parents with no idea what they're doing is she made little effort in trying. I learned a lot of painful lessons on my own and some of the most painful of them were thanks to her actions. Same for the dad side of things.
That is 1 out of 800,000 reasons why I put no value in the words marriage and family. I create my family based on the kind of people I want around me for the rest of my life. Some of the people I love unconditionally are in fact, blood related. Most of them are not. I don't fall into textbook definitions of right and wrong.
I think racism is stupid, and at the end of the day is more of a pissing contest than it is the true belief an individual is any less human based on the color of their skin. Every one wants power and they'll make up whatever load of bullshit it takes to gain and keep it.
I'm not traditional at all and I'm not afraid to say that I am constantly learning and growing. I have a long way to go and I'm cool with that. This will be like a public, interactive diary. I may confuse the shit out of you or have you in the middle of your own life realizations. I don't really know how often I will do this, I'll just do it as it comes to me. :)
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